Archive for August, 2016

Gnome-loving neighbors

We moved over the fourth of July weekend, and now live in a little rental house with a fenced backyard for Dixie Doodle dog.  One of the greatest things about our little rental house is it two doors down from a house with a MILLION gnomes in the front yard.  Seriously, hundreds of gnomes.  It is epic.

So, a couple weeks ago, I left a card and a little bag containing two pair of socks (with gnomes on them, of course) at the gnome-loving neighbors’ door saying I loved their gnomes.

Then a couple days later, I got a card left in my mailbox thanking me and saying they would like to get to know me better… maybe over dinner? They gave me their phone number (not knowing that I am horrible and will never get around to calling them, ever.)

Around that time, a black shoe appeared mysteriously at my front door.  (I also have started my own mini gnome collection with a passed-out gnome and a flipping-the-bird gnome.

Which all leads to today’s BREAKING NEWS! I was INSIDE the gnome house! On the INSIDE!!!!! I feel this story is best told by the gnome-lovers, but since you are likely not friends with them, I shall pretend to be them.
We, the gnome-loving family, are home on a Sunday morning, still dressed in our Sunday best from church… Mr. Gnome-lover in a suit jacket, Mrs. Gnome-lover in a pretty dress and bolero, Young-adult-gnome-lover in slacks or whatever, enjoying homemade noms…
*knock knock*
Open door. See very disheveled unshowered woman carrying an old black shoe. Is she homeless? A panderer? :-\
Woman says: “Hi, I’m Lynette…. from two doors down?… that left you socks?”
“Oh, yes! please, please come in!!!!”
Woman: “Um, I’m sorry, I’m a mess… I was just going to leave this shoe and this note… is this your shoe?”
“Whut? Shoe?”
Woman: “I’m trying to find out whose shoe this is… it appeared in my driveway around the time you left your nice card”
Entire gnome-loving family gathers to look at shoe.  Um… no, this shoe does not look familiar to us… and how very… interesting… that this woman is trying to solve the mystery of this black shoe.
Woman exclaims again about the wonderful collection of gnomes in the front yard.
Gnome-loving neighbors also collect clocks!  Would you like to see the clocks?  Show woman two rooms full of clocks.  She stares in amazement.
Show woman back yard, woman stares in awe and wonder at the back yard complete with little pond and water feature and little log cabin and statues and…. O-O
Chat a bit, get a sweaty hug from odd neighbor woman (me) and … well, we can probably guess there was considerable conversation after I left.

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