I had a personal training session with Ron Wednesday night. Yes, he’s still made of muscles and awesome, even though he is leaving me.
I did a little warm-up… my New Rules of Lifting books recommend ten minutes of “RAMP”, but I get bored quickly. I did ten lateral lunges and a few squat-to-stands and figured that was good enough. Ron asked me what we were doing that night. This is one of the many reasons Ron is awesome. A coworker once asked me what my trainer “makes” me do. My trainer does not “make” me do anything! My trainer asks me what I WANT to do! He recommends additional exercises – or different exercises – but he does not “make” me do stuff I don’t want to do. He keeps it focused on what I want, what my goals are, and what I like to do (which is basically lift/squat/push/pull heavy things).
First I asked Ron what “glute hamstring raises” were because my friend Jenny-bean likes them. People, if you don’t know what these are… just know they ARE MADE OF EVIL. If done incorrectly, I’m pretty sure you do a face plant into the floor and break your nose. (Ron and a stability ball were preventing me from doing this – but it would be easy to do, and painful.) If done correctly, these make your bottom and the back of your legs SCREAM FOR MERCY. I did three.
I decided we do quest hoaring (or as less crude people on Fitocracy put it – quest hoeing) Wednesday night. Ron had discovered he was NOT leaving February 28, but on March 15. So, since this wasn’t our last session, there was a lot less anxiety on my end about finding out all the secrets to managing without him RIGHT NOW.
Playing quest hoar is one of my favorite things to do at the gym. Fitocracy (the app/site that allows you to track your fitness and makes it game-like) has “quests” that you can do for extra points. Often, the quests are a way to encourage you to try new exercises. So, I usually do them with Ron because I don’t want to try a new exercise by doing it WRONG and hurting myself.
We started with “Anterior, Middle, Posterior” quest, which involved the standing barbell shoulder press, seated dumbbell shoulder press, and cable rope rear-delt row/face pull. I’d done shoulder presses before – no problem. I did a 50 pound barbell shoulder press for ten reps. Ron received… “constructive criticism” or “feedback” at this point. As a trainer, I would suggest you NOT take the heavy thing your client just struggled with in ONE HAND and effortlessly pop it back up on the rack. I suggested he use TWO HANDS and give the appearance it is not as easy as picking up a tissue – because that does not make your client feel good about what they just did. Ron took this under consideration.
Next was seated dumbbell shoulder press – for which I used 25 pound dumbbells. I only managed five reps. I prefer to do these standing, as the “New Rules of Lifting” authors suggest – but again, we are questing. Ron grunted audibly when he picked up the 25 pound dumbbells to put them back on the rack. I advised him that he did not need to be RIDICULOUS about the whole thing, just look like it took SOME effort.
Last bit, the “face pull” thing, was new to me. Ron asked some gym muffin to let me work in for a quick set, and taught me the exercise and I did it. It seems… okay. Maybe if the weight was heavier I’d like it. Quest complete – 100 bonus points! Woot!
Then we did the “Press Press Press” quest. I did barbell bench press – only 65 pounds and only five reps as I was being a baby that night. I’ve been a baby a lot lately, especially for bench press. Then we did dumbbell bench press – and we tried 40 pounds, because 40 pounds would get me the “level one” dumbbell bench press achievement badge… but the 40 pound dumbbells wouldn’t move. In fact, Ron handed me the first one and I nearly rolled off the bench off the floor. I pressed and pressed and they didn’t budge and then I did the screaming “get the heavy things off me! get them off!” and Ron had to take them away. He got me the 30 pound dumbbells… and after some time and a LOT of effort, I managed a single rep. Super lame. I hang my head in shame at my bench press performance.
Then I did five bench dips to complete the quest – I never do dips because Ron and the “New Rules of Lifting” authors say they can cause shoulder injury and there are safer options – but this is quest hoaring. All is fair in quest hoaring, even bicep curls. Ron said the bench dips are safer than the other kinds – so that’s what I did, though honestly I don’t know if I could do the other kind at all without assistance anyway. Quest complete, another 100 bonus points!
Then we did my assisted chin-ups. I showed Ron my cool new “20 pull-ups” app which is by the same company that does the “100 push-ups” app I started using. I did 20 total chin-ups, using my training wheels (resistance band for assistance) over five sets. I did not crush Ron’s fingers this time. Bonus for Ron.
We talked for a bit, and I was able to schedule six more session with Ron before March 15. YAY! Three sessions a week for the next two weeks. I am stoked about this. I also asked Ron if he wanted to take the “mini-Ron” made of yarn and stuffing with him when he left. I told him I would NOT be offended if he didn’t. He said he did… but he felt kind of bad about taking him. I told him I originally was sad at the thought. However:
1) I could make a new one, if I really wanted
2) I could make a DARYL DIXON one! Mini-Lintee Bean could be coached by DARYL DIXON! That would be AWESOME!
Ron seemed a little hurt I thought this “Daryl Dixon” was more awesome than he was. Ron does not watch The Walking Dead. (This is weird. Does he realize you can watch on NetFlix? I don’t have cable or satellite TV and I still watch The Walking Dead – I’m just a season behind.) I explained that Daryl Dixon had a CROSSBOW and hunted squirrels and killed zombies and was AWESOME. Ron seemed to understand that, though Ron is made of muscles and awesome, Daryl Dixon kills zombies and therefore.. is even more awesome.
After we were done, I did the “It IS polite to Stair” quest on my own. It’s simply five flights of stairs (in lieu of elevator). I could have done this at home, but the geek in me feels that would be “cheating” because it’s not like I have the choice of an elevator at home. I can’t do stairs at work because security doesn’t allow us in the stairwells of our high-rise unless it’s an emergency drill – or a real emergency. So, I walked up (and down) the single flight of stairs at the gym five times, looking strange.
When all was said and done, I was still 100 points short of “leveling up” on Fitocracy. However, I tracked my walk to/from the train today, and did some bodyweight exercises while heating dinner, and I leveled up tonight. Level 24! Booyah!
Life of the Lintee Bean 