Life of the Lintee Bean

I mentioned last post about how I challenged a fellow Fitocracy member (“MidnightYell”) to a push-up duel, and I know you’re all wondering how it’s going.  It’s going.  Here’s how it’s going, in excruciating more detail that you ever wanted to know.

January 11:  Duel commences tomorrow.  I have 421 push-ups so far in 2013… 421 of the 20,013 push-ups in 2013 challenge.  20,013 in a year – that’s about 55 per day, so I should have 605 at this point. It’s not boding well, but I’ve convinced myself I can improve my performance over time.

January 12: Day 1 of the duel.  I did 21 push-ups, a set of 12 and a set of 9.  My arms are exhausted from yesterday’s workout. My duel partner did 80 push-ups.  This is bad.  I am going to be CRUSHED.  I can live with losing, I cannot live with being CRUSHED.  I need to step up my game.

January 13: Day 2 of the duel.  I did 119 push-ups.  It took me ALL DAY.  Seriously.  I was doing push-ups every few hours, all day long.  Three sets of 12 in the morning, another three sets of 12 at lunch, two sets of 12 plus another seven in the evening.  I think my arms will fall off. My family is cheering me on, and my sister Sandi says I can grow new arms.  I’m not sure about that.  My duel partner did 60. I squeaked out another 16 before bed. We go to bed even, 140 to 140.

January 14: Duel day 3.  My underarms hurt. I don’t know what muscle it is that runs along the front of my armpit and keeps my arms attached to my torso, but it burns. I manage two sets of 12, another six, and another 8 – for 38 total.  My duel partner did 60 – before getting caught in a conference room where he works doing push-ups. He stopped from embarrassment.  I’m behind 178 to 200. My sister has started doing push-ups herself during her morning workout.

January 15: Duel day 4. I can no longer manage my typical set of 12 reps.  I do several partial sets: 10+7+3+8+10+6, a total of 44.  Score is I text my personal trainer for an emergency consultation:

Me: Is it better to do push-ups every day or take every other day off?

Him: 10-20 every other day is probably best

Me: Thanks!

*** silence for a while ***

Him: How many are you trying to do each day?

Keep in mind, this is my trainer – he knows, getting me to do three sets of five push-ups in a training session will result in much whining of “but push-ups are HARD!”.

Me: I did 119 on Sunday, 38 yesterday, 44 so far today. I was doing 3 sets of 12 reps at a time on Sunday, but now I can’t do that many as it hurts.

*** silence for a while ***

Him:  Ha ha, oh my! Take a day off. Then do maybe 25-50 a day for a couple days, then rest a day, hit it hard the next day, rest a day… would that work?

Me:  Yes. Thanks, coach!

January 16: Day 5 of the duel.  I have a doctor appointment, and this doctor always checks my reflexes.  This involves holding my arms straight out in front (OW!) and him pushing down on them while I keep them held up (Ow! Ow! Ow!).  I reassure him I don’t have an issue with reflexes, I have an issue with stupidity and taking on a push-up challenge I’m not physically prepared for. Also, it’s a scheduled workout day.  I do three sets of five push-ups for a workout warm-up, the two sets of eight scheduled during my workout, and three sets of 12 to finish me off. That’s a total of 67. My dueling partner did 120.  Score is now 289 to 320.

January 17: Duel day 6. I manage to do two sets of 12, plus four… plus eight… for a total of 36. Score is 325 to 365. I talked to my parents.  They’d heard from my sister about the push-up duel.  They said they’d tried push-ups.  (Go Mom! Go Dad! Yes, my parents are in their mid-to-late 70’s and doing push-ups!)  As we were talking, I mentioned the score, and Mom said: “Hear that?  Lynette has done 300 push-ups in January!”.  I said, “No, Mom, I’ve done 300 push-ups since SATURDAY.” I have to say, I’m pretty proud of me. I could not do push-ups on my toes AT ALL before September.  Go me!

January 18: Duel day 7, and a scheduled workout day.  I did three sets of five as warm-up again, and eight sets of 12. Realized I was nine away from an even 120 so pushed out nine more. My partner seems to have been distracted by that thing they call “life” – his sister-in-law, wife, child, etc. Score is 445 to 395. Unfortunately, as I was leaving the gym I decided to try an assisted pull-up with less assistance than in the last – and my left underarm suddenly SCREAMED and BURNED and I felt like my left arm tore off. It was there, but tingling all the way down to my hand. Highly unpleasant.  Doesn’t seem like I tore anything, as it felt better the next morning after a hot shower and coffee.

January 19: Duel day 8. I push out two sets of 10, after attending a hockey game with a friend.  Good enough. I feel like I’m getting into a groove now – one day hard, one day light…

January 20: Day 9 of the duel. Eight sets of 12, for a total of 96.  Alleviated the guilt of not going to the gym and doing my scheduled workout.  Score is 561 to 467.  I’m in the lead, but knowing he can do 120 in a day – apparently easily – it’s not a strong lead.

January 21: Duel day 10. Two sets of 10… plus 9… plus, realizing I was only 10 off from an even 600, 10 more.

January 22: Day 11 of the duel – and a scheduled personal training session.  Session revolved around “not taxing” my chest or shoulders.  We did some squats and some dumbbell work, but flyes were agonizing.  Trainer made the mistake of asking me where it hurt, and in return I asked him if I could show him. He just learned the hard way that one of my favorite things is to make big muscle-bound guys squeal like girls. I put my fingers around that muscle in his underarm and squeezed…. “OW!”  I smiled smugly.  “THAT HURT A LOT!”  Yes, yes it does.  I did three sets of five to warm-up for our session, and cranked out four sets of 12 push-ups after our session… plus three more for a total of 66.

January 23: Duel day 12. I managed eight sets of 12.  The score is now 762 to 616.

January 24: Ominous day 13 of the duel. I managed three sets of 12.

January 25: Day 14 of the duel.  It’s a scheduled workout day.  Again, I do three sets of five to warm up, the scheduled two sets of 6 and five sets of 12 (blasting Rob Zombies’ “Never Gonna Stop” on my headphones). Score is 885 to 756.

January 26:  Duel day 15.  I manage five sets of 12. Score is 945 to 831.

That gets us to today.  I have a scheduled workout today, but it’s cold and icy and I’m not particularly motivated.  We will see.  Five days left in the duel, including today – it ends January 31.

In other news, I made a crochet version of my personal trainer. Why?  I don’t really remember.  It seemed like a good idea when I wasn’t thinking about how I really stink at making toys.

My personal trainer – crochet version, made of yarn and stuffing, and real one, made of muscles and awesome