Life of the Lintee Bean

I went to hockey class #3 last week.  I still stink.  Superman dives still kick my butt.  This class, we were on the full-size rink, and at an earlier time slot.  When it came time for scrimmage, I noticed something.  The instructor usually divides up teams based on jersey color, as that’s a pretty easy way to for us to identify our teammates.  Usually, it’s three teams: white jerseys, black jerseys, and other-color jerseys.

I have a white practice jersey – so the first week, I was teamed up with two classmates that also wore white jerseys. The second week, I was teamed up with two different classmates that had on white jerseys.  Last week, the instructor went to divide up teams and I noticed – almost everyone had on black jerseys.

I try not to be paranoid, really – but I have to wonder if they were all avoiding being on my team. I know I’m a horrible hockey player. I can’t skate, and I can’t handle a puck.  These two skills seem particularly important in order to be a decent hockey player.  I do feel bad holding up the class when the instructor has to stop to show me how to hold my stick properly – or to go get the puck I lost and is now on the other side of the ice – or to wait for me to finish the laps or drills everyone else completed some time ago. I try to convince myself that I paid for the class, and deserve to be there, and eventually I should improve.  I may never be great, but I can’t get any worse.

So, last week the instructor divided us up into only two teams:  black jerseys and everyone else (myself, a guy in a red jersey, and a guy in a gray jersey).  The instructor and assistant instructor were on our non-black-jersey team in order to even things up a bit.  They didn’t play at full potential, of course, but took possession of loose pucks and passed it to us.

This week?  I didn’t go to class.  I was tired and demoralized and I’m not proud of myself, but I didn’t go. I hope that doesn’t establish a pattern – I still hope I go to the remaining four classes.

Meanwhile, I have gone to the gym a few times.  I’ve done some strength training and some cardio.  I’m trying to eat healthier, though I’ve fallen off the wagon a few times – some times with a vengeance. I’m capable of consuming an enormous amount of food. Thankfully, it’s summer and farmer’s markets are open and full of delicious healthy choices (as well as evil choices like fresh-baked pastries and cheese, but I try to avoid those).

Yesterday I went to the gym. I was tired and cranky and if I’m feeling crabby, I may as well be annoyed at the gym, taking out my frustration on gym equipment. I don’t know if I was any less cranky once I got home – but at least I was too worn out to punch or kill anyone.