Life of the Lintee Bean

I confess, I’m not good at seeing the “silver lining”.  I’m much better at seeing the dark gloomy clouds, especially when it comes to my health.  I don’t spend time being grateful I don’t have a rare hereditary disease or flesh-eating bacteria. Instead, I focus on what IS wrong with my health, not on what isn’t.

I was scheduled for surgery on Halloween, after a CT scan showed a tumor on my appendix. I originally told the surgeon I didn’t want the surgery AT ALL. I’d done some research and it seemed tumors on the appendix are usually no cause for alarm and there was little to no harm from just letting it be. However, the surgeon argued I absolutely MUST have surgery.

The surgeon wanted to remove not only the appendix but, depending on the size and location of the tumor, also remove a section of my large intestine. I did NOT want a part of my colon removed. I like having a colon and didn’t want it cut out just because it had the misfortune of being located near the appendix. I eventually told him I’d agree to an appendectomy, but not a colon resection.

The hospital staff wanted me at the hospital three hours before my scheduled procedure. Checking in went alright other than the consent form still listed a possible colon resection. So, I refused to sign it. The surgeon came to talk to me and we went “head to head”. He tried the caring approach, the scaring approach, and the outright over-bearing approach, but I refused to budge.  They finally revised the form and I was wheeled off to await the chopping block.

I woke up many hours later in the recovery area. The nurse had me rate my pain, 1 to 10, and gave me pain medication. Why do they wait until after you wake to give you pain medication, anyway?  Does anyone wake up and say “Oh, I feel fine! No need for pain medication for me!” Once the pain was bearable, my friends were allowed to come see me. Later, the surgeon came by to speak to me as well.

There was no tumor. I asked the surgeon if there was ANY sign of disease or inflammation with the appendix. There wasn’t. I was in surgery for hours as he’d explored my small intestines and other organs in the area, but he could find NOTHING wrong. I guess there must have been a mistake with the CT scan. I’ll certainly have some questions at my follow-up appointment.

I should be grateful I don’t have a tumor – but I never had a tumor. The doctors didn’t think removing a diseased appendix would improve my symptoms, so it certainly doesn’t seem like removing a perfectly healthy organ will help. If removing healthy organs benefits my health, maybe I should arrange to donate a kidney or part of a lung. I guess the “silver lining” of this dark cloud is the pain from the unnecessary surgery has taken my mind off some of the original symptoms for which the doctors still have no explanation.

Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen

Update 11/11/2011:  At my follow-up appointment, the surgeon said there was a fibrous mass on the appendix (non-cancerous) and that’s why the CT scan indicted a tumor.