I intended to write about my little adventure last weekend. I went to a local bar for the “mid winter dark dance”, featuring I:Scintilla, Defcon the Gothsicles, and DJ Scary Lady Sarah. Of course, I also had the option of writing about the Chicago mayoral race. However, apparently it’s not only Chicago politicians that can be bribed.
A bartender we’ll call Kirby (as that’s his name) said I should write about him. It seems my column can be bought for a few drinks, some fried cheese curds, an individual-sized pizza, and a mini chocolate chip cookie pizza with ice cream. Not that Kirby bought me any of those things. He didn’t. But he did serve them to me. Well, most of them. The cheese curds were ordered by a gentleman in Chicago on business who sat near me, and Kirby served them to him – but I ate some. Anyway, Kirby is a great bartender, and flying high on beer and fried cheese, I agreed to write about him.
Kirby works at Lou Malnati’s. I don’t believe there’s a single “best” pizza in Chicago. I have several favorites. Lou’s is one of them. It’s a decadent deep dish pizza oozing with cheese (and in my case, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, etc.) and a delightful butter crust. Kirby’s location is near the Loop, so there were many out-of-towners stopping in before returning to whatever inferior-pizza-city they came from.
I’m a pizza snob. I have to be, I live in Chicago. Most of the world does NOT understand how really good pizza can be. You might think you do – trust me, you don’t. Pizza is to Chicago like beef is to Nebraska . You can go to the priciest steakhouse in Chicago, and get a steak vastly inferior to those we had for a typical Sunday night dinner growing up. We had mammoth steaks, two inches thick, moist, seasoned by Mom, and grilled to perfection by Dad.
Lou’s has one of the best pizzas in the Windy City. They’ll even ship frozen pizzas to those not fortunate enough to get one fresh from their kitchen. I went to Lou’s this week with my roommate and her new boyfriend, who is a friend of Kirby’s. We hung out, had pizza, and talked to Kirby about his music. “Kirby and Friends” showcases the songwriting skills of Kirby, as well as his skill playing cello and banjo. Banjos aren’t frequently featured in today’s music scene, but maybe Kirby will change all that and resurrect their popularity.
Kirby just released a video featuring him playing the banjo in his “man chair”. It’s pretty good. Personally, I think what Kirby’s next video needs, though, is dancing. I have a friend, Amy, who does burlesque dancing. I should introduce Amy and Kirby. Amy, dancing in a bright pink boa, is just what Kirby needs behind him, his banjo, and his “man chair”.
I think this fulfills my promise. What Kirby probably doesn’t realize is that when he makes it big – I expect some of the credit, as well as more beer, fried cheese, and pizza.
Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen
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