People have asked why my column doesn’t appear in the Greeley Citizen weekly. Well, if you know me at all, you know it is NOT because I don’t have enough to say! Marty (the owner) and I agreed when I pitched my column that it would appear every other week. So, sometimes I find myself in the dilemma of choosing just what, among the MANY things that happened over the past two weeks, I’ll write about.
This week, there was the horrific accident at work. People think a job among programmers and actuaries at a firm that does financial reporting software/consulting for insurance companies is dull. Oh no! Just this week a coworker accidentally stabbed himself with a pencil and the pencil lead got stuck between his fingernail and nail bed! I tried to get it out for him, but failed. He landed up at the doctor’s office for over an hour. His primary physician eventually had to refer him to a hand surgeon.
The ghosts are apparently very excited they were featured in my last column, so they have been acting up. The other night, I was watching the movie “Paranormal Activity” alone and getting a bad case of the heebie-jeebies. The ghosts apparently thought it would be VERY funny to let me walk by a tightly-shut door – then have it be wide open when I walked by it a few minutes later. I told them it was NOT funny and they were NOT to pull stunts like that when I was watching scary movies!
I went to watch football with the ex-boyfriend. People never believe me when I tell them I eat WAY more food than him, despite the fact he probably weighs 100 pounds more than I do. The waiter didn’t seem surprised when I ordered the veggie breakfast pizza, but he WAS surprised when I told him I wanted the large. He seemed even more taken aback when my ex-boyfriend ordered the meat-lovers breakfast pizza in the small size. I was cautioned that a large was a LOT of pizza… but they had to eat their words when they came back to find my large pizza tray empty – and my ex-boyfriend still working on his small.
Due to my many losses over the past few years, I have two cats left in the house. There’s plenty to write about with their various plots to eliminate each other in their quest for world (or at least household) domination.
Then, of course, there’s all the political campaign excitement! Election season in Illinois just can’t be topped! We have the close race for governor between Quinn and Brady and Whitey (er, I mean Whitney – poor candidate Whitney had his name misspelled on the first ballots that went out). We have the exciting Senate race between Mark Kirk and Alexi G… Gee… Gee-and… Goo-and-poo-on-us. I’m not the only one that struggles with Alexi’s last name. Most posters and signs just say “Vote for Alexi”.
There’s all the conjecture as to who will run for Chicago mayor. It was a shock to everyone when King Daley said he wouldn’t be running for a seventh term. So, now we don’t even know if we’ll have a new king or if Chicago will be a democracy! Very exciting! Some think Chicago is ready for a more exotic kind of criminal – one that goes to opera, etc. We’ll see.
My dad wants me to write about cars. Really, I don’t care about cars. My ex-boyfriend, the automotive journalist, was horrified that I wasn’t impressed by the Bentley or Shelby Cobra or Audi’s or Mercedes or BMWs or Porsches or whatnot that he drove… they were shiny and went fast. So what? The Scion XD, a little compact hatchback, THAT was a fun car! That was the only car he I begged to drive for a bit. Vroom! Vroom! Fun car.
I could write about my recent venture into fantasy sports, or my recently broken yarn diet… so many choices! I guess I need to petition all the readers to buy more papers and ad space so I’m picked up weekly.
Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen
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