Life of the Lintee Bean

My passport expired in June. No big deal, I don’t have any international travel planned. However, I like to have a passport  just in case. You never know when you may need (or want) to fly off to Australia or Europe or Asia on a moment’s notice. Okay, that generally doesn’t happen – at least not to me – but I still like to have a passport handy.

So I decided to get my passport renewed over my lunch hour. I figured I’d get my driver’s license renewed as well, even though that won’t expire for months. One of the reasons I put these things off is the photo.  I’m generally having a bad hair day or not dressed particularly well. However, I realized the chances of having a good hair day or being dressed stylishly on a day I use a photo ID are slim to none. So, really, shouldn’t my ID reflect what I usually look like?

I went to City Hall, got in line, and waited… and waited. I scoffed inwardly at the people that weren’t prepared in the least. They didn’t even have an application with them! I had my completed renewal application, my expired passport, my check – I was set.

When I finally got to the window, I told the staff member I had everything ready. I just needed my photo taken. She said I should renew by mail. I know I CAN renew by mail, but I’d still have to submit a photo, and on the Internet it said I could get my photo taken and renew at City Hall. The woman  said I should get my photo taken at a drugstore. Well, I CAN get my photo taken at a drugstore, I realize, but it said I could also get my photo taken at City Hall. Well, she didn’t WANT to take my photo or process my application. Didn’t want to. It said nothing on the Internet about being able to get your passport renewed at City Hall if the staff WANTED to do it.

So, I went to a drugstore to get my photo taken. I also had to stop at the post office to renew by mail.

Then I went to the “secret” driver’s license renewal facility. There’s a well-known license facility in the State of Illinois building. However, there’s also a NOT well-known “express” facility about a block away. It’s tucked away in a basement. There’s generally a nice short line there, and I was able to get through quickly.

I have a question about photo identification in general. They ask for your height, weight, hair color, and eye color. What do they mean by that? I know my height. That’s easy. I assume they mean without high heels. However, my weight – well, it varies. It varies a LOT. I generally put what I HOPE my weight will be – some day. Again, hair color and eye color – do they want my NATURAL hair color and eye color? Or my hair color and eye color right now? In this day of colored contact lenses and hair dye, who knows what color my hair and eyes will be – it changes month to month.

I have a new driver’s license with the usual horrible photo – and I’m waiting for my passport to appear in the mail. I’ll hope they bear some resemblance to me for the next few years.

Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen

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