Unfortunately, I’ve been having trouble with my Internet connection – AGAIN. I’ve contacted my new 4G provider, and their customer service representatives have been exceedingly polite and helpful – but unable to resolve the issue. They suspected the tower needed servicing, and had it scheduled for end of August.
Sadly, the problem was getting worse, not better. I finally broke down and checked into my other option – cable Internet. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of cable Internet, phone and TV. Cable Internet is super fast and cable TV obviously vastly expands your viewing options. There’s just one issue with cable – Greeley Center Cable doesn’t service Chicago. I have ONE provider option – the EVIL HORRIBLE MONOPOLY cable company of Chicago.
I check out their super confusing website for pricing. They list four or five prices for every single product (TV, Internet, and phone). They have packages – bundle offers – for two or three services as well. The prices listed aren’t REALLY the prices – they are promotional offers, which are good for six, maybe twelve months – at which point the prices change to something higher (which is in tiny font hidden deep in the website).
Their Internet promotion includes a “free modem”. When I actually talk to a representative, they ask if I need a modem (noting that my existing modem probably does not work with their service) – and say that I can lease the modem for $5 a month, or purchase one for $180. How is it that a “free” modem costs $5 a month? Their definition of “free” must differ from mine and Webster’s.
For television, I can get a “starter” package… or add free high-definition (HD) TV for an additional $20 a month. Again, I fail to understand how they define “free”.
After much scouring of their main website and other affiliate sites, I finally find an offer for both Internet and phone for $40 a month plus “no one-time fees”. The $40 goes up to $85 after six months. (So, it’s not really $40, obviously.) The modem costs another $5. The representative also informs me that there will be an installation fee of $50 for the Internet, $40 for the phone, and a $10 activation fee. Excuse me? It said “no one-time fees”. She agrees, but says I still have to pay for installation and activation. Again, their understanding of “no one-time fees” must differ from mine. I try to reason with the representative – but she only offers that I can go to one of their offices and discuss it there. She KNOWS I won’t do that – who wants to go to their office and stand in line for ages only to get some curt company representative that won’t help them? So, I set up an installation appointment with dread.
After all this, I call my 4G provider to cancel, and the customer service representative says he’s showing I have a good connection – and a quick speed test does show it’s better than it has been. So I canceled my installation appointment with the evil cable company. While I’m not hoping for the best, I’m hoping for tolerable service.
Submitted for publication in The Greeley Citizen.
Life of the Lintee Bean 