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Tales of a flexitarian (semi-vegetarian)-eating animal-loving small-town girl turned big city big-mouth

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Web of lies

June 11, 2010 by Lynette

Unfortunately, I’ve been having trouble with my Internet connection – AGAIN.  I’ve contacted my new 4G provider, and their customer service representatives have been exceedingly polite and helpful – but unable to resolve the issue.  They suspected the tower needed servicing, and had it scheduled for end of August.

Sadly, the problem was getting worse, not better.  I finally broke down and checked into my other option – cable Internet.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of cable Internet, phone and TV.  Cable Internet is super fast and cable TV obviously vastly expands your viewing options.  There’s just one issue with cable – Greeley Center Cable doesn’t service Chicago.  I have ONE provider option – the EVIL HORRIBLE MONOPOLY cable company of Chicago.

I check out their super confusing website for pricing.  They list four or five prices for every single product (TV, Internet, and phone).  They have packages – bundle offers – for two or three services as well.  The prices listed aren’t REALLY the prices – they are promotional offers, which are good for six, maybe twelve months – at which point the prices change to something higher (which is in tiny font hidden deep in the website).

Their Internet promotion includes a “free modem”.  When I actually talk to a representative, they ask if I need a modem (noting that my existing modem probably does not work with their service) – and say that I can lease the modem for $5 a month, or purchase one for $180.  How is it that a “free” modem costs $5 a month?  Their definition of “free” must differ from mine and Webster’s.

For television, I can get a “starter” package… or add free high-definition (HD) TV for an additional $20 a month.  Again, I fail to understand how they define “free”.

After much scouring of their main website and other affiliate sites, I finally find an offer for both Internet and phone for $40 a month plus “no one-time fees”.  The $40 goes up to $85 after six months.  (So, it’s not really $40, obviously.)  The modem costs another $5.  The representative also informs me that there will be an installation fee of $50 for the Internet, $40 for the phone, and a $10 activation fee.  Excuse me?  It said “no one-time fees”.  She agrees, but says I still have to pay for installation and activation.  Again, their understanding of “no one-time fees” must differ from mine.  I try to reason with the representative – but she only offers that I can go to one of their offices and discuss it there.  She KNOWS I won’t do that – who wants to go to their office and stand in line for ages only to get some curt company representative that won’t help them? So, I set up an installation appointment with dread.

After all this, I call my 4G provider to cancel, and the customer service representative says he’s showing I have a good connection – and a quick speed test does show it’s better than it has been. So I canceled my installation appointment with the evil cable company.  While I’m not hoping for the best, I’m hoping for tolerable service.

Submitted for publication in The Greeley Citizen.

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