Life of the Lintee Bean

Winter has definitely arrived in Chicago. If you couldn’t tell from the vast amount of snow and ice, and the FRIGID temperatures, there are two other obvious indicators: the “Caution! Falling Ice” signs on the sidewalk, and the lawn furniture parked in the street.

Chunks of ice falling off high rise buildings really is a problem. They’ve injured many, even killed some. So we should definitely exercise caution. The yellow signs on the sidewalk proclaiming “Caution! Falling Ice” appear several times each city block downtown. Some of the signs have arrows pointing upward – in case it isn’t clear where the ice may be falling FROM.

Caution - ice falling from UP THERE

What are you supposed to do to avoid this falling ice anyway? Walk closer to the buildings? Further away? Look up and hope you can dodge out of the way if you see some coming? Wear a helmet? While I know the issue falling ice presents, I fail to understand what I am to do to protect myself – and these signs don’t tell me.

Apparently I am supposed to WATCH OUT

As for the abundance of lawn furniture in the streets during winter, parking is ALWAYS an issue in Chicago. During winter this problem is exacerbated by the large amounts of snow covering the streets. Chicago residents, at some point in history, developed a system of declaring “dibs” on any parking spot from which they shoveled snow. Lawn furniture is generally the “parking space marker” of choice. However, a variety of items work – two paint buckets with a broom balanced between them, for example. I’ve even seen baby buggies and rocking horses sitting outside, holding a parking spot. Fortunately, I’ve not yet seen the babies or children that presumably USE these items lying in the street to hold the parking spots.

Interestingly, despite Chicagoans usual disrespect for rules, regulations, and people in general – ALL residents seem to honor this little system for parking spot “dibs.” I’ve never known anyone that DARED to move the lawn furniture or other marker to park. Instead, they will circle the block endlessly, hoping someone else leaves without “saving” their spot … even follow pedestrians, hoping they might be walking to a car to drive it away… or they’ll just double park, blocking the street to traffic

Maybe it’s not so much “honor” for the parking spot system as it is fear of returning to a car that’s been vandalyzed. I’m not sure. Last winter, a nice woman came to my house to drop off a cat for me to foster. There wasn’t a parking spot to be had on my block. I told her we’d just move the two big paint buckets and broom saving a spot right in front, and she stared at me aghast. I told her she’d only be there a few minutes, we’d put them right back. The person saving the spot likely wouldn’t be back for hours. She was petrified. I may as well have told her to leave her car in the middle of the street, with the keys in it, and running – and her wallet on the front seat.

The city officials repeatedly threaten to punish those that use this system of “dibs”, cluttering streets with the various markers. However, exactly HOW they’d punish anyone is unclear. What will they do, ticket the lawn furniture? It’s not like there’s plates identifying the owners of these items. So residents continue to clutter streets with lawn furniture and other markers, some of them claiming “dibs” on spots months past when the snow has melted – into April or May. It’s not unusual to see furniture still sitting in a spot in June or July, until the owner actually needs it for a summer barbeque.

Submitted for publication in The Greeley Citizen.