Life of the Lintee Bean

My niece got married the other weekend. She’s a very sweet girl, and included me in lots of the festivities – the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, even the bride’s and bridesmaids’ trip to get their hair and makeup done.

We went to get our hair done first. Most of the girls were getting their in updo’s for the wedding. My hair is fairly short, and straight as a stick, so unfortunately it didn’t seem that would be an option for me. When my turn came, the nice stylist asked me what I’d like done. I told her that I doubted she could do much with my short straight hair, but if she could give it some volume, that would be nice. She smiled and said, “Oh, if you want curls, you should have curls!” She then took a curling iron (and the time) to painstakingly make lots of little curls, spraying each one in place. She pinned them up on the sides, and I was thrilled with the results!

We went to a department store to get our makeup done next. Again, when my turn came I got a very nice makeup artist. She applied a foundation to even out my skin tone, then she paused.

“Hmm… your cheeks are rather red” she noted.

It’s Texas – Texas in July. It’s over 100 degrees outside. My entire FACE is red.

“I don’t think I’ll put much blush on”, she said. Good idea, I thought.

She applied blush and powder, concealer for those pesky bags under my eyes… then she got to the eyes themselves. Eye shadow wasn’t much of a problem. Even eyeliner went pretty well. I’m actually fairly good at letting people work with my eyes. Heck, I’ve had my vision corrected (lasix) and I even had eyeliner tattooed on my eyelids. I can put up with a little eyeliner being applied.

Then she got to the mascara. She announced she’d be using their new vibrating mascara. VIBRATING mascara? I admit, I fail to understand many of the beauty products available, but why I would need vibrating mascara really stumps me. What’s wrong with the old non-vibrating mascara? Well, other than I find it really difficult to get it on my sparse eyelashes and not all over my eyelids or under my eyes. I fail to see how the brush VIBRATING will help in that regard – seems to me it’d make it MORE difficult. But, she’s the professional. I’ll defer to her judgment.

So she starts with the mascara. Another problem with vibrating mascara quickly becomes evident to me – it TICKLES. It tickles a LOT. I’m really struggling to keep my eyes still now, and my eyes are starting to water a bit. She paused again.

“I’m having trouble finding the eyelashes”, she admits.

That’s because there aren’t many, I think. Still, she’s a trooper and she keeps trying. I’m unable to keep my eyes still, and I get a mascara wand in the eye as my punishment. Now the makeup artist is REALLY flustered.

At this point, my sister comes over to see how things are going. She notices the watering eyes. The makeup artist confesses that she poked me in the eye, and that probably contributed to the tears now welling up and out of my eyes.

When it was all done, though, I loved the results. My sister said I looked twenty years younger. That’s great, except it means I looked twenty years OLDER without the makeup. I think I’ll put more effort into wearing makeup more often.

Me, my mom, and my sister

Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen</em