Life of the Lintee Bean

I had an opportunity to watch one of the GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME the other week – “FROGS”! “Frogs” is an old horror flick from 1972, complete with 1970s fashion – striped pants, wide collars, and interesting one-piece outfits that were either short jumpsuits, or swimsuits, I’m not sure which.

In the movie, mankind is polluting the environment and the frogs (and spiders, snakes, lizards, crocodiles, birds, turtles, etc.) take revenge! There was not much available in the way of special effects in those days, and for this low-budget movie in particular. But you get lots and lots and lots of frogs. Frogs hopping across the lawn. Frogs hopping on the pavement. Frogs hopping in a birthday cake, potato salad, and other picnic foods. Frogs hopping on some old man that falls out of his wheelchair. Frogs hopping on other frogs.

I’m not sure how frogs manage to kill anyone. The lizards killed one person by knocking over bottles of poison and gassing their victim. The crocodiles, snakes, and snapping turtles have an easier time, since they can actually bite. Still, the frogs do a lot of menacing hopping and ribbit-ing. Really, it’s a must see movie! I was cheering for the frogs the whole way.

So, being in an old movie frame of mind, I rented “Night of the Lepus”. Another great old horror movie – this time mankind messes with nature (again) and gives rabbits some hormones that cause them to grow into 150-pound giant man-eating bunnies! “Herds of killer rabbits on the way!”, the police warn everyone. Interestingly, no one says, “What? Killer rabbits?” No, they just spring into action! I don’t know if this movie did very well at the box office. Personally, I find it really hard to find rabbits anything other than adorable. Even close-up shots of rabbits with bloody muzzles baring their teeth, they look pretty cute.

It’s not that I’ve never met a scary rabbit – I have! In college, my roommate had a pet rabbit. It was terrifying. I’m not kidding! It was one of those big white rabbits with the red eyes. When you opened the door to its room to feed it, it leaped at you growling. I always just threw the food and slammed the door shut. Classmates would laugh when I told them of my roommate’s scary rabbit – until they met it. That killer rabbit with its sharp pointy teeth in the “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” movie had NOTHING on my roommate’s rabbit.

I’m not a fan of today’s horror movies. Too much blood and gore for my liking. The older movies relied more on your imagination. A frog or rabbit hopped, a person screamed, your imagination filled in the rest. But I think the biggest reason I enjoy these old movies so much are the memories they bring back. I have fond recollections of watching these movies in our living room as a family, lots of buttered popcorn on hand.

Submitted for publication in the Greeley Citizen