Life of the Lintee Bean

Illinois puts the “ick” in politics. Obviously, the biggest topic of conversation in Chicago for some time has been the impeachment of our former governor. So, now former lieutenant governor Pat Quinn is at the helm. Frankly, I’m glad. I never could figure out how to pronounce or spell our former governor’s name. I learned to spell Mlinar and Walkowiak, I even learned to spell Nekoliczak. I never figured out how to spell our ex-governor’s name – I just called him Bloggywitch. Close enough. At least Quinn is easy to say and spell, even if so far he seems a rather dull governor by comparison.

I don’t think any of us in Illinois are shocked Bloggywitch tried to sell Obama’s former Senate seat. Heck, three of our former governors have served time in jail. Bloggywitch won the election, in part, because he swore to make a switch from our corrupt political past. (It was a pretty catchy campaign slogan, as slogans go, since Bloggywitch and switch rhyme.) I was surprised Bloggywitch was so bad, and caught so easily. In his defense, he was pressured by recent ethics legislation passed that would become effective January 1. So, he was in a hurry to get a lot of unethical projects complete by end of year.

So, with the impeachment complete and a new (easier to spell) governor in office, the big question has been what we’ll talk about now. Fortunately, that question is on hold. Senator Burris, appointed by the former governor, has bought us some more time by resurrecting the Bloggywitch discussions.

The media talks about our state’s “embarrassing problem”, and I think that makes it sound like we wet the bed or something. We’re the home of Al Capone! We have a long and colorful history, and I think we should embrace it. I know one of my favorite politicians is Chicago’s Mayor Richard M. Daley. I think we should just call him King Daley. He’s been mayor since 1989, it’s his fifth term as mayor. I think he inherited the position from his father, Mayor Richard J. Daley, though not directly.

Our mayor is great.  We solicit his opinion on everything. He’s a fountain of knowledge. Asked his opinion of the federal government bailouts, he said the government could just print more money. Problem solved! A reporter recently asked Mayor Daley what he thought about the news that the country was looking to Illinois as the leader in education reform. The mayor’s reponse was that if the country is looking to Illionis, we’re in trouble, as our education system is awful.

The recession has hit us all, and Chicago is no exception. Mayor Daley had to make some serious cutbacks in the city’s budget. Smaller side streets, like the one I live on, seldom see a snow plow anymore. We had to sell our downtown street meters, and now a private company collects the $3.50 an hour needed to park on the streets. Despite these setbacks, I’m sure Mayor Daley will take care of it. If not, at least he’s entertaining!

submitted for publication in The Greeley Citizen