Just admit me to an assisted living home now.
Last Saturday we had freezing rain. Lots of warnings on the radio about the slick conditions. I suppose making “salt the porch/stairs/sidewalk” a higher priority than “fill the birdfeeder” would have been wise.
I took one step out the back door and went flying down the back stairs onto the concrete below. I lay there a while feeling sorry for myself, then picked myself up, dusted myself off, and continued on my (now aching and limping) way.
I kid you not, I was back in the house maybe 30 minutes when I fell down the stairs from the second floor to the first. Again, I lay sprawled at the bottom for a while, crying a little as that’s always very productive.
So, now one butt cheek is bright purple. The opposite thigh is also black and blue. One calf and both ankles are swollen and colorful. My back aches, my neck aches, my arms ache. Lovely.