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Life of the Lintee Bean

Tales of a flexitarian (semi-vegetarian)-eating animal-loving small-town girl turned big city big-mouth

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« Food Safety
Late-ness, Late-osis, and Late-icity »

The Great Shortbread Cookie Heist

November 5, 2007 by Lynette

I planned an “early night” last night.  I was plenty tired, because of the time change, and thought it’d be a good opportunity to catch up on some sleep.  It was a disappointment. 

It took me a while to fall asleep – then I woke up around 2:00 because my legs hurt – so I rubbed menthol gel on them.  Then I woke up around 3:00 because Studley was playing “How loud can I make Jellybean scream” and Louie was cheering him on, so I made both boys leave the den and I shut the den door.  Then I woke up around 4:00 because Omaha and Rumpelmintz were fighting over who got to sleep on my right side.  Then I woke up around 5:00 because Latifah decided to come upstairs into the bedroom and was fighting with Omaha… so I let her go in the den with Jellybean.

I got up this morning to find Latifah had pooped on the bathroom floor, Omaha had pooped in his pants, and one of the cats had a hairball in the living room.  There was also a “shortbread cookie heist” in the den.  The cats had managed to get a tub of Trader Joe’s shortbread cookies off the top of the desk, get the lid off, and there were shortbread cookies with bites out of them all over the floor, desk, etc.  (When I questioned them about it, they said they did it to save me from the cookies.)  My suspicion on the shortbread cookie massacre is that either:

1) As part of the “Let’s see how loud we can make Jellybean scream” game, Jellybean climbed up to on top of the desk, and knocked the tub of cookies off the desk and the lid came off when they hit the floor – and the cats tested them to see if they were any good. (I didn’t notice them when I made the boys leave the room – but it was dark and I was half-asleep so I just removed larger furry objects, leaving smaller screaming furry objects in the room, and shut the door.)

or

2) Jellybean and Latifah were in cahoots and managed to get them off the desk and tasted while they were in there together.

or

3)  A combination of the above.

Latifah and Jellybean are the most likely suspects for the little kitty bite-sized missing bits from the cookies, as they are both carbohydrate addicts. Jellybean has been caught red-handed eating bites out of a blueberry waffle before…. and staff at the shelter used to laugh at how they could feed Latifah bites of bread.  Jellybean’s blood sugar was only 90 this morning (still no insulin since Dec. 31, 2006!), whereas Latifah’s blood sugar was 225 – further indicating Latifah in the crime.

I also discovered this morning that my favorite radio station, which was all music, all the time (no annoying talk), with a wide variety of music – had suddenly changed formats to all talk, all the time.  

To top off the morning, Studley sprayed pee on the back door, then Omaha pooped on the bedroom floor.  Glorious morning.  One bit of happiness – I started reading the “Crazy Aunt Purl” book, aka “Drunk, Divorced & Covered with Cat Hair”.  It is not a disappointment.  Though I don’t knit, I love Laurie Perry’s style of writing, and who can’t relate to her feelings of disappointment and frustration with life. The first chapter, where she has to resort to repairing her skirt at work with staples, is priceless.  If you haven’t already, you should check out her blog at crazyauntpurl.com, and buy her book!

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Posted in Chi-Town Fur Gang | Tagged cats, Jellybean, Latifah, Louie, Omaha, Rumpelmintz, Studley | 4 Comments

4 Responses

  1. on November 5, 2007 at 5:54 pm Ha Tikvah

    Thanks for visiting my site. Certainly always good to hear about other successful stories in the fight against conditions like DM that are often caused by us humans giving animals food they really were never meant to have. Dry food has to be (for all animals) the most unnatural foodstuff around and it’s always amazed me how they still love it! Blessings, TKR. 🙂


  2. on November 7, 2007 at 3:09 am Glenn

    Lynette, I was trying very hard to disguise my laughter as a bout of serious coughing. It is total schadefreude to laugh at you, and I do apologise for that. Perhaps this is Latifah’s way of telling us to eat raw carrots and celery instead of shortbread? Sort of kitty payback?


  3. on November 7, 2007 at 6:59 am Lynette

    Ah, but my blog pales in comparison to yours, Glenn. I snicker every time I think of “mixing sex and travel”. 😀


  4. on November 7, 2007 at 7:58 pm Dog

    Very entertaining, and true.



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