Life of the Lintee Bean

I went shopping Friday night after work.

I decided it was probably good to “warm up” first… so I went to Old Navy and just picked up a few t-shirts and shoes without trying anything on.

Then, I ventured into Macy’s. Gigantic overwhelming Macy’s. Eight floors high, taking up an entire city block, Macy’s.

Eventually found my way through the first floor of perfumes, toiletries, handbags, jewelry… and found the escalators. Ventured up to the second floor – Men’s… up another floor – Women’s. Found a sign that said (among other things) “career”. Career sounds good. Career sounds like what I need.

Followed arrow… kept going… looking… searching…. eventually found three suits. None came in my size.

I’ve now spent about 1/2 hour at Macy’s. Over an hour shopping. Need to take a break… find a sign that says “restrooms”, it points to the floor. What does that mean? Pee on the floor? Go down a floor? I ask for assistance. Go through a scary frou-frou “don’t breathe on anything, it all has more digits in the price tag than I’m accustomed” department… wandered… found restroom.

Back to searching… searching… searching… after another 30 minutes, I’m thinking of throwing myself into the atrium.

Decide to try going up another floor… more women’s clothes… searching.. searching… I find some suits! Kasper… Jones New York…. even some “Sale” signs.

Start loading up my arms with suits… lots and lots of suits… arms start to hurt… head to the fitting room.

Nothing fits. I hate my body.

Left with three suits – the pants fit, though they’re way too long, and the blazer does a weird thing in the back – presumably because a friend told me I’m “short-waisted” so the waist of the blazer is too low and gets “hung up” on my enormous butt.

Head back out, carring my three not-so-horrible suits. Looking… found petite suits. Started loading up again. Having some trouble as it seems they don’t think people my size need petites.

Sales clerk in this suit dept has been ignoring me all this time.. but a sales clerk from the next dept over sees me and offers me a fitting room.

Started trying on again. Most don’t fit. For some reason, some designers think “petite” means “smaller and shorter” not just “shorter”.

Find two that “fit”. That is, they fit if I’m standing up. If I sit down, they’re a bit snug – not exploding at the seams, but I wouldn’t want to sit 12 hours in them.

I decide to buy these two suits. They’re on sale.

Sales clerk tells me if I apply for a Macy’s card, they’ll give me another 20% off. Decide to get a Macy’s card.

So, I now have two suits and can dress appropriately should the need arise.

One is a black pant suit and the other is a sage-green pant suit. Both are Kasper, as my friend Holly recommended. I could use some new shoes, but I have some black & white pumps, black flats (slight heel) and brown flats I could get by with.